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Making it Easy for "Sugar Daddies" to Connect With "Sugar Babies"And so, nearly each week, B. K. gets together with Lola, the young woman he met on the site, for a meal or a gym workout and a few hours at a hotel outside the Western city where he lives. Their visits are generally no longer than four or five hours because Lola, a senior, has a full course load and also works 4. With no money from her parents, she was frank in her Seeking Arrangement profile, saying she needed “immediate financial assistance.” In B. K., she gets that in the form of $1.
He feels good about helping her with her tuition, encouraging her studies and romancing her, albeit in hotel rooms. Most of all, he’s grateful that she doesn’t want a commitment. At least he was at first.“It’s very clear with this site that she’s getting something out of this, hopefully emotional support and mentoring advice and fun in bed, but also something financial, so don’t come back to me and say that you were used or that I left you high and dry,” he said. I like that aspect of it, but on the other hand, it would be nice not to have the money involved, because you always wonder: would she still want to be with me even without the money? Does the money make me more attractive than I really am?”ABOUT 3.
PERCENT OF ARRANGEMENTS on the site involve the daddy paying an “allowance,” usually a thousand or two a month, though the site claims some reach $1. The rest provide the baby with incidental cash, shopping sprees, gifts, travel or the fleeting illusion that theirs is a high- end, easy life.
I get flown to whatever city I want,” wrote a North Carolina college student, who goes by the name gurlnextdoor on the site’s blog, a mix between an online support group and a kaffeeklatsch. He pays for it, takes me shopping, we talk, laugh, go out to eat and do whatever we want to do for our days together. 6 Russian Girls. I don’t bring up mundane problems about my home life, and he does the same. If I wanted someone to talk to about my life problems, I’d get a boyfriend or a therapist.”Like B.
K.’s companion, Lola, many women on the site are in their 2. Some are looking for attention, some have financial problems and some are seeking refuge from romantic pain. On the blog and in conversations with me, still others said benefactors provide a way to get the extras they want — the Fendi bags, the to- die- for shoe collection or the breast enhancement.
A surprising number of babies say on the blog that they don’t need the money at all, either because they have decent- paying jobs or bottomless credit cards from their parents. What appeals to them about the arrangements are the expensive gifts — “I just LOVE being spoiled,” gushed one 1. Other women on the site would happily forfeit conspicuous prizes and go for the cash instead, especially for tuition. One woman’s profile says, “That you can help me get through school and achieve financial stability through support and mentoring is more important than wowing me with diamonds and Prada.” In fact, Seeking Arrangement pays to have its ads pop up on search engines whenever someone types in “student loan,” “tuition help,” “college support” or “help with rent.” Lola was one of many to stumble on the site that way, when — behind on her rent and tuition and down to one meal a day — she Googled “student loan.” What popped up was hardly what she expected, but she was willing to try almost anything to stay in school.
Her first sugar daddy, a man in his early 5. I had to grit my teeth every time we met,” she told me. In four visits, she earned $5. A month later, she connected with another sugar daddy, a man in his late 5. Louisiana. The only thing he wanted, he told her, was that she do well in school.
He insisted she send her transcript, and once satisfied, he sent her nearly $5. Though they never met, never even talked on the phone, he wrote her long letters by hand encouraging her studies and advising her on finances and sent her novels, newspaper clippings and a J. K. Rowling commencement address for inspiration.
He never once mentioned sex. Six months later, the man in Louisiana had to cut back on expenses, so Lola began looking for a new source of income to supplement the $8 an hour she earned working in a lab and the cash she picked up cleaning houses and selling her plasma.
Last October, Lola and B. K. had their first date. Though petite, Lola seems older than she is, maybe because she is so matter- of- fact in her manner. On the day I met her, on her way to meet B. K., she was wearing jeans, a striped T- shirt and no makeup. Her hair was pulled back, no- nonsense style, making her look more as if she were about to go camping than rendezvous with her sugar daddy.
She brought along a textbook and her GRE vocabulary flashcards, in case B. K. was late.“At first, it was a job, then it became a pleasant job and then it was getting together with a friend,” she said, describing her relationship with B. K. “With him, I don’t feel like a prostitute, though maybe I am.