- Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant; الدولة الإسلامية في العراق والشام ad-Dawlah al-Islāmiyah fī 'l-ʿIrāq wa-sh-Shām.
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Dump Your Toxic Friends - Paging Dr. Nerd. Love. There’s a quote attributed to Steven Winterburn that I like: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self- esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” I find that many of the people I coach need to do this sort of examination, because we all tend to have a specific blindspot towards the people in our lives. You see, we spend a lot of time examining and looking out for toxic relationships but give very little consideration to the possibility that we have toxic friends.“Hey, bro! Got any shreds of self- esteem I can destroy today?”We put a great deal of attention on avoiding unhealthy romantic relationships, but platonic friendships can be just as damaging, just as toxic, even as abusive. Toxic friends can actually be harder to recognize. How To Treat Fevers In Adults. We tend to be axiomatic – we’d never be friends with abusers, therefore our friends aren’t abusive. We may excuse their behavior as “that’s just how Adam/Marie/Dan/Steve/Andrea is…”.
We may choose to overlook the fact that our friends are toxic because of the sunk cost fallacy – we’ve known them for so long that we can’t really let them go. But those toxic friends are destroying your self- esteem, ruining your happiness and in many cases actively holding you back. If you’re miserable, it may be time to look around and make sure you haven’t surrounded yourself with toxic friends. You Are The Sum of The People You Hang Out With.
In the US, we tend to suffer under the myth of the Intrepid Individual. We like to assume that we’re all self- made men and women. We see ourselves islands of self- reliance in a sea of conformity, shaped by our own wills, uninfluenced by the world around us. We know exactly who we are and why we are and why we feel the way we feel. We don’t respond to peer pressure, we’re uninfluenced by marketing; we’re too smart and strong- willed for that.
Except as appealing as that idea is, it’s not true. In fact, our environment affects us far more than we realize, and that is especially true when it comes to the people you surround yourself with. There’s a quote you see tossed around a lot – especially in business circles – by Jim Rohn: “You are the average of the 5 people spend the most time with.” What this means is that the people you associate with directly affect who are and how you behave, even if you’re not aware of it. Attitudes and beliefs are contagious after all, and the ones you spend the most time with are the ones that you’re going to absorb.
That means you need to choose your social circle carefully, because letting toxic friends into your life can change your life for the worse. Your social circle, after all, is supposed to be a source of happiness, support and healthy validation. Good friends help prop you up when you’re down, help you celebrate your successes, mourn your losses with you, cheer you on and – ideally – help you pick up the pieces when you’ve fucked up.…plus the occasional “you kinda had to be there” photo on Facebook. Toxic friends, on the other hand ruin your self- esteem and leave you feeling lower than a snake’s ass in a drainage ditch. They drain the life from you and leave you feeling miserable – especially about yourself and the things you love. Toxic friends will convince you that you are the problem.
They’ll reinforce every self- limiting belief you have and encourage the worst sides of you… and more often than not, they’ll deliberately hold you back. They’re the friends who will try to convince someone who’s quit drinking to fall off the wagon or a happily committed friend to ditch their relationship. After all, why would they want to give up on their favorite punching bag? Who else is going provide them with validation?
Who can they inflict their drama on? Toxic people can’t abuse somebody someone with self- esteem and healthy boundaries, so it’s important to them to make sure that you never develop any. Signs You Have Toxic Friends. Toxic friends are a lot like ticks; they get under your skin and inject us with their poison.
Their manipulations and lies take up residence in the back of your mind, repeating all the nasty things they say to you. Sadly, it’s all too easy to let them influence us and convince us that we’re ugly, stupid and worthles. By being friends with them, we’ve given them a high level of authority and influence in our lives.
It’s incredibly easy to start buying into their noxious bullshit because we (mistakenly) trust them. If your friend tells you something – especially if they tell you over and over again – then it must be true, right?
It can be hard to identify toxic friends at times, especially if it’s a “friendship” of long standing. We don’t like to think badly of our friends after all, and people can get used to just about anything. You think that “this is just how he/she is”. Worse, sometimes you begin to believe they’re correct in their behavior and there’s just something wrong with you.