I agree with Gina. My children were in a worse place when we were together. How could I show my children – autistic or not – how a woman is meant to be treated. Gluten-Free, Casein-Free Diets for Autism Put to the Test.
Why can't we face the truth? Having an autistic child wrecks your life .. By. Carol Sarler for Mail.
Tearful and shaking, Jonathan Sliger stood in front of a Lane County Circuit Court judge last week after 18 days in the county jail and asked to be allowed to go home. The Texarkana Gazette is the premier source for local news and sports in Texarkana and the surrounding Arklatex areas.
Online. Updated. 1. GMT, 1. 5 January 2. Hippie Dating Service more. Thanks to a moment of everyday terror, I think I knew before anyone else. My friend's two- year- old had climbed upon a chair from which, with customary toddler clumsiness, he fell. Like all children, he managed a second of stunned silence - then howled like a banshee.
Like all adults, I rushed to pick him up, to cuddle, to soothe. What was unexpected was his response: visibly fearful of my touch, he kicked my belly, disengaged himself and ran away. A life sentence: Many parents of autistic children have to give up their jobs to become full- time carers (picture posed by models)I added that to the list I was already mentally composing: no eye contact, ever. Not even with his mum. No shred of attachment to toys, pets, people. Obsessive, repetitive behaviour. Crazed by the sight of other children.
Hmm. By his fourth birthday, still with nappies, but without speech, everyone else knew, too. Tom was - I mean is, and always will be - autistic. I've been thinking a lot about Tom, who's now seven, as the debate rages over the possibility of a prenatal test for autism, with abortion then optional. And, so far, most of the argument leans towards such a test being undesirable and unethical. Brave and devoted mothers - notably Charlotte Moore, whose book, George And Sam, about her two autistic sons, is immensely powerful - have clung to the positives brought into their lives by their children.
Backing the emphasis on the positive have been those who point to the frequently high intelligence of the autistic savant, as if we are talking about phalanxes of Mozarts and Einsteins. How much poorer we would be without, say, the astonishing brain of Dustin Hoffman's Rain Man! Who would or could babysit this child? Well, maybe. But not as poor as Tom's family: three generations of lives - I include his own - wrecked, for ever, by his cussed condition. His parents, let us call them Cath and John, bear the brunt.
Immediately after diagnosis, she beat herself senseless with blame; so many theories, each making it her fault. Should she have allowed her son to have had the MMR jab?
Was it, as some said, a behavioural disturbance caused by 'bad' parenting? Once, she even convinced herself (from something she'd read) that it was mercury poisoning from eating tuna during her pregnancy. Theories, however, were soon to defer to practicalities. They strove for a normal life: simple things, such as going shopping together.
But with the best will in the world, how many shops - or, indeed, how many customers - are going to tolerate a child who screams, bites, defecates and destroys everything within reach? Besides, dangers lurk. Last time I bumped into them in a supermarket car park, Tom was bawling hysterically. Why? Because he had seen a bird. So, mostly, Cath and John stay at home.
Poll. Should we screen unborn babies for autism? Yes. 56. 11 votes. No. 27. 25 votes. Both their careers are over - not, as for many with small children, on hold for a few years. Each knows that neither will work full- time again. There have been attempts with special schools, but none succeeded. Sanity is preserved by each parent having a hobby (fishing and tennis), so one babysits while the other takes a break.
They rarely go out together, for who else - other than one plucky grandmother - would, or even could, babysit this child? Worst of all, the other babies, of whom Cath and John had dreamed, have been ruled out.
First, because they simply do not have the time to give to another child. And second - I admire them for thinking of this - they do not feel it would be fair to raise a child already programmed to be guilt- tripped, whether by itself or by others, into taking on the role of carer when Cath and John are no longer capable. Or dead. This, then, is their life sentence: to worry, every hour of every day, what will happen to Tom when they are gone. Meanwhile, Cath's parents - both exceptionally youthful at 6. They had looked forward to more time together in retirement; in fact, they have less. Granny Helen spends all the time she can, maybe more than is good for her, trying to help out: a little childcare here, a spot of shopping there. The carefully saved nest egg, intended for the small luxuries that make ageing more enjoyable, is rapidly depleting.
With Cath and John unable to hold down proper employment, it is Helen who chips in for the unexpected bill, the car repair or the TV licence. Tom had ripped out a handful of her hair. And, please, don't ask about state benefits for carers: these are so meagre that if it were not for Helen, Cath could not even afford the mobile phone she must have with her every time she steps outside her front door. The trouble is that Grandpa Bill is not quite as happy as Granny Helen for their money to be spent this way - so there are new tensions there, at a time in life when they need them least.
Paddy Mc. Guinness' wife on life with autistic twins: 'We wanted eight kids but now it's enough for us to just stick together'Christine Mc. Social Skills Training For Adults With Disabilities here. Guinness pauses after being asked what plans she has for having more children with her TV star husband Paddy .“We really wanted a big family,” the mother of three says, smiling. We wanted EIGHT children. We just thought we could keeping going, but..”Then her voice trails off and the smile fades. Because the couple, whose four- year- old twins Penelope and Leo have autism, have decided not to have more kids. Read More. Christine, wife of TV star Paddy, said they had originally planned to have a big family but have had to shelve their plans (Image: Steve Burton)Instead they will focus on caring for the twins and 1.
Felicity. In a moving interview Christine says they fear Felicity may also develop autism . And she says she and Paddy, 4. Christine, 2. 9, also tells of her love for her celebrity hubby and dubs the Bolton comic the best dad in the world. He has changed his schedule to be around more for the family.
Christine says: “In the past he would finish filming a show in the night, stay over and come back in the morning.“But now he’ll travel through the night to make sure he is home with me in the morning. Paddy and Christine in 2. Penelope and Leo (Image: Rex Features)“I’ve never seen anyone work as hard as Paddy, what with the travelling as well. He sees a different side to me, planning ahead, taking them (the twins) out regardless of however many people point and stare.”Paddy shot to fame on Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights and Max And Paddy’s Road to Nowhere. He now fronts shows like Take Me Out and Benchmark. And Christine admits it is tough for Paddy to maintain his upbeat public persona. She explains: “Performing is something he has struggled with when the twins have had a bad time or been unhappy.
He has to go off and make people laugh, which shows how professional he is. I wouldn’t be able to do it.“I don’t know how he does. It’s been tough for both of us but he has struggled more lately, just with knowing it is forever.”Video Loading. Video Unavailable. The video will start in 8. Cancel. Christine gave up a modelling career to be a full- time mum and feels she has to remain strong for the family. She says: “I never let my husband or the children see me cry, that’s not going to help anyone.“I never sit down and I’m constantly on the go, that’s what keeps me trim.
You always want to avoid the meltdowns. My mum helps most weekends but the biggest help has been through the nursery and the special eduction needs team.“I’m just hoping once they start school we will manage and be able to cope. An extra pair of hands would benefit the twins but for now we are managing as best we can.”Keeping fit helps Christine relax – “it’s my therapy, my time to switch off, put music on that isn’t a nursery rhyme, not think about anything”. She talks more about their changing family plans, saying: “We had three children in three- and- a- half years. We were happy to keep going. As soon as I got pregnant I knew that was my life and that was what I wanted, I wanted to be a mum and have a really big family.
Christine says Paddy is a devoted dad to the twins and their ten- month old Felicity (Image: Barcroft Media)“We’ve had to reconsider plans because the twins need us and we are stretched as it is.“We don’t have any help and Felicity is still not sleeping. Sometimes we are exhausted.
It wouldn’t be fair to have more.“We have spoken about having counselling, it is a huge sense of loss when your children are diagnosed with autism. You fear for their future. All those things you have planned, family holidays, just sitting in a cafe, parties, Christmas. That does go.“Now Christmas has to be really quiet with no decorations or bright lights. It is something we have to accept. And as time goes by all their mini achievements mean the world to you.”The twins were diagnosed in February . Autism is a lifelong, developmental disability that affects how a person communicates with and relates to others and how they experience the world around them.
For Paddy and Christine, meticulous planning is crucial to prevent the twins becoming upset. Either parent has to be in the house or with the children at all times. Christine explains: “We are like passing ships in the night. We have missed a lot of our relationship recently, all our focus is on the children.“It’s really difficult, we try and manage it the best we can. We don’t have date nights or anything like that. We just have to stick together, we are a unit and work well together.”Read More.
Peter Kay rose to fame on Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights (Image: Channel 4)The twins start school in September despite a paediatrician advising they be kept back a year. Christine looked at 1. Entre Adultes Consentants Film. The devoted mum hasn’t had a holiday in four years but hopes the family can go abroad – “maybe in a campervan instead of the Caribbean”. She adds: “We need to do whatever keeps them happy.