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I am a divorced man. Been single for about 8 months. I’very wanted to date again but dating at 52 years old is abysmal 🙁 I am only interested in women my age or. I spent about a year dating almost exclusively women older than myself. What follows are my observations from that time in my life. For the purpose of this post, by. Don’t get me wrong, there are advantages in a 45-year-old guy. He’s probably a man. He’s got the job and the home and the car, and been divorced with a kid already.
Things You Didn't Know About Dating for Seniors. With the obsession that today’s media has with youth and appearance, you could be forgiven for thinking that it’s only the young who are looking for companionship, that dating is a young person’s game. Go on, be honest. Which of the following images do you think the media is more likely to use to accompany an article on online dating?
Exactly. Well, it’s time things changed. We are all living decades longer than we once did, and are staying fitter, healthier (and in some cases, friskier) further into our wisdom years than ever before. Ghost Stories For Young Adults. At the same time, more older adults over 5. This means that there are more seniors and baby boomers than ever before looking for some companionship to fill the void of their prior partner. Because no matter how old you get, one thing about human nature never changes: nobody likes feeling lonely. Older adults, however, look for companionship in a way that’s very different from their younger counterparts. Once you’re into your wisdom years your needs, desires and expectations are very different from what you’re looking for when you’re in your 2.
Let’s take a look at nine things you (probably) didn’t know about dating for older adults: 1. Age doesn’t matter so much. Emphasis on age on Match. It seems counter- intuitive to say that people characterized by one attribute — how old they are — don’t care as much about age when looking for a companion, but it’s true. Young people are incredibly age- prejudiced, to such an extent that age is one of the most important filter criteria used to find a match on online dating sites. Just check out the image to the right from Match.
Age is the second- most important attribute used to help users determine if they’re interested in a potential match (after the photo). This scenario is not just on Match. E- harmony, Ourtime, Plenty of Fish, OK Cupid, and the rest of the dating websites. The filtering mechanisms on these dating sites similarly emphasize the importance age takes in the minds of young match- seekers, with all users asked to specify the age range they are seeking, with many choosing ridiculously narrow ranges (e.
Far more important is what shape you are in, how healthy you are, and what activities you can do. Adults over 5. 5 are far more flexible in their approach to companionship. Part of this is probably the wisdom that comes with age, but even more significant is an essential truth about how age works. Once you get into your fifties and beyond, the actual number of your age becomes less and less significant.
Far more important is what shape you are in, how healthy you are, what activities you can do. If you’re active and like going for long walks and playing golf, you’re going to be much more interested in the fit and energetic 8. On the other hand, the 7.
Age is secondary. What you do with our age is what really matters. Neither do looks.
Tinder: photos are all- important. The other stunning aspect of dating for young people is how much looks matter. The hottest online dating app for young people today is Tinder, which proudly claims to be matching over 4. Take a quick look at the Tinder user interface to the left. What stands out as the most important aspect of a person when determining if you may be a potential match? It’s the photo. With Tinder (and pretty much every other online dating system on the market today) the photo is all- important.
This reinforces a message that young people get hammered with on a daily basis: nothing matters more than how you look. We’d be lying if we said that appearance wasn’t important at all to the over- 5. Maybe this is because older adults are wise enough to know that looks have very little to do with whether someone is going to be a kind, loving and caring companion. Maybe it’s because the physical nature of attractiveness changes when you get older, or maybe they know that being “hot and sexy” is more a function of your personality than how you look. Whatever the reason, most older adults will tell you that how someone looks is doesn’t matter much in their search to find a companion. It’s not drinks, it’s dinner. One thing we have been struck with has been the important role that dinner plays in the social (or not- so- social) lives of most older adults.
Nobody likes the idea of spending years cooking for themselves and eating alone. And always being the lone single person when your married friends want to catch up for dinner starts to become a little tiresome. More than any other activity, dinner is where older adults feel the isolation of being alone most strongly. This is why, for most older adults, a dinner date is the most important first step towards finding companionship.
This makes quite a comparison to how many young people organize their first dates, which usually involve meeting up in a bar.
Why Would a Younger Woman Want to Date a Much Older Man? Okay, Evan, I agree mostly with your opinion on younger men/older women. What do you say about the reverse? I mean, I can see why an older man would want to date a younger woman – physically that is, but why would a 2. Penelope. Dear Penelope,Beats the shit out of me. I can totally understand why older men go for younger women. There’s no denying that they’re, for the most part, in better shape, with better skin, and less baggage from broken relationships.
Time creates wisdom – but it also creates responsibilities and complications – mortgage, kids, career, etc. All of this makes dating more and more complex as we get older. It’s a lot easier for a man to take out a carefree, responsibility free, baggage free, wrinkle free 2.
I’m not condoning this. I’m OBSERVING that it happens. Still, most of them fail miserably, for the exact same reasons that I think Penelope is suggesting. Men want much younger women, but rarely do much younger women want older men. Put another way, if a woman has an array of other quality options closer to her age range, what incentives would she have to date a man who is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLDER? She doesn’t NEED a guy who’s 4. She can find that same amazing guy at age 3.
Or 3. 5. Or 4. 0. Not many, I’m thinking. Before any 4. 0+ people get all hot and bothered about this – I am not judging.
There is nothing wrong with aging. I do think people improve with age (my wife is nodding). But let’s not pretend that we, as a culture, don’t worship at the altar of youth. If you’re over the age of 4.
But I’m told I look five years younger than my age”, then you’re not immune to it yourself. But see, for men who covet younger women, it’s not whether you look good for your age – it’s what age you really are. Because it’s competitive out there for all of us. People have choices. And nobody has more choices than a 2. If she wants to date a guy who is 6’2”, makes $4.
She could probably find him. All she has to do is go on Match. The point is, she doesn’t NEED a guy who’s 4. She can find that same amazing guy at age 3.
Or 3. 5. Or 4. 0. She doesn’t need a guy who will be taking Viagra when she’s sexually peaking at 4.
Don’t get me wrong, there are advantages in a 4. He’s probably a man. He’s got the job and the home and the car, and been divorced with a kid already. So if a woman finds it more appealing to just step into that world – to jump from the prolonged adolescence of the late 2. Most of them are completely creeped out at the prospect of dating a guy who was alive when JFK was alive. There are many other things that are attractive about older men.
They embody wisdom and stability. They can afford nicer restaurants and vacations and have cultivated greater tastes in the arts. They’re more experienced, more chivalrous, and more likely to want to settle down than a twentysomething party boy. And yet, they probably resemble Penelope’s dad more than they resemble her brother…. This is the most compelling reason behind why younger women might go for older men: they’re daddy substitutes. An older man’s going to be the strong, nurturing guy who takes care of her, teaches her, and treats her like a princess – the kind of relationship that she probably lacked growing up.
Hey, I’m no psychologist – just your friendly, neighborhood dating coach. But I do know women, and lots of women in their 2. And the truth is that most of them are completely creeped out at the prospect of dating a guy who was alive when JFK was alive. These women were born in the EIGHTIES. They grew up with computers. They’re contemporaries with Britney Spears.
Whether we like it or not, there is nearly a full generation gap between 2. A few women may bridge this gap for lust or money or dimestore psychological reasons, but most of the 2. I know would prefer to date a great, stable 3. Snapchat is. Okay, older men – tell me why I’m wrong. But don’t forget, you and your younger girlfriends are the EXCEPTION. I’m writing about the RULE.
By the way, my girlfriend wants it on record that she would totally sleep with Harrison Ford if he should be reading this. So as a gift to both of them: Sure, why not? Happy 6. 6th, Indy!